There’s no way to avoid the horrible truth, in two weeks, it will be the husband’s birthday.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no killjoy, I love birthdays – even some of my own – it’s not even that I’m bothered by him getting older, in fact I’d have to say he’s doing rather well on that front (note to self: check attic for portraits), no, no, my problem with his birthday is simply that I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO GET HIM!
In all the years we’ve been married, I’ve barely ever managed to come up with anything to surprise or delight him. The closest was a bespoke bicycle – but that was back in the days before children, when I still had a few spare pennies and neither of us felt guilty spending them.
He’s not an aftershave sort of man, he doesn’t fish, play football or golf. I already bought him a brew-your-own kit, so the beer route is covered. I did buy him a rather magnificent telescope once upon a time, but that really pushed my technical powers to the limit and I was extremely lucky to find a retailer who could talk ‘wife with no technical knowledge’ to help me. It’s not something you can repeat, and as I discovered at the time, it takes a LOT of wrapping paper and is a veritable pain in the backside to hide.
Clothes are a total ‘no, no’ – I got that one wrong before we married, apparently white polo shirts are anathema.
I thought I might be in with a chance this morning, when he was chatting to me about electric guitars, but within about a nanosecond, he’d veered off into some weird alternative universe and was talking something unintelligible, so I’m none the wiser. Anyway, he doesn’t have an amp, and I wouldn’t know what sort to buy him either.
He did once mention wanting to learn to play the double bass, but quite frankly even if I could afford the gift-wrap, I think the house would burst at the very thought of finding space for it.
So – what shall I get for him that adequately reflects how much he means to me? Somehow I don’t think a new inner tube will cut the mustard.
If, like him, you spend most of your time communing with computers’ innards, ringing church bells or cycling, please, oh please tell me what sort of present you’d appreciate, you’ll be doing me a real favour.
Mostly Motley 